Friendship, friends, mitra – commonplace words that we use everyday. What’s the definition of a friend? I ask, because we tend to use the word quite liberally; be it someone we were introduced to yesterday, or a person we’ve known for last 10 years (and still knowing), or a person you met just a year back but share your deepest and scariest secrets with!
This is one term (or rather person) that we do not understand the importance of; at times we take them for granted, at times we silently ridicule what they say, and on some other occasions, god forbid, we become so complacent that we start thinking of ourselves as way better than them.
All said and done, what really is friendship? Or who can be termed as a friend? I am too small a person to really make a comment or pass a judgment… but last 24years have taught me enough and given me enough lessons to realize who the ones are that I cherish, who I can depend upon in times of need and who really value me as much as I value them. I can start a whole new thread about how the word ‘value’ can mean different things to different people and in what light they really comprehend the term… but, more on that later. Coming back to the question what is friendship – put simply, it is being there for each other in times of need, in times of happiness, being there as much in times of joys as in sorrows and vice versa. And to dig deeper, it means knowing when to hold a hand, when to lend a shoulder, when to laugh with your friend and most importantly, when to listen – listen deep, so that you hear the unspoken words, the hidden feelings and the lost cry for help. And the best part is, a close friend would never need to put in extra efforts to do all of the above mentioned things. Because he’d do it anyways because he likes you… because he wants you to be happy… because he cares for you…and he considers your achievement as part of his own J. That, my friend, is true friendship.
There are two types of friends – A) the ones who you are in touch with on almost a regular basis, they know what time you wake up, what time you sleep and the likes of whatever you do in between the two activities; and B) the ones who you call up once in a month or two, yet you feel as if you have always been in touch, with not a day lost in between. But you know what keeps the friendship ticking in both cases? If you miss a couple of days with the former or add a couple of days of touch to the latter, they wouldn’t mind – for the simple reason that they are your friends. If you are not able to call type A on a few occasional days, they know you had your reasons. And if you call type B a few extra times, they’d be happy and would greet you with an ear-to-ear smile.
That was about close friends…. the ones who know you in and out. Coming to the other set of people who we call friends. They may not be as close to you or know every single part of your life. Yet, you want to call them your friends. Because you like being in their company. They are that genuine set of people who have a pure heart and the best wishes for you. With some, you may even be talking day in and day out, yet they are not just there yet when you’d start telling them about why you use a particular brand of toothpaste… and that you started using it because of that particular dental carie that you had talked about some days back ;) Well, you get the flow…! So these are the people who sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly bring a smile to your face and cheer you up on the very day that you were feeling low! God sent angels you may say. J Touchwood, I can say I have a unique set of such angels and I cherish their friendship just as much as I cherish my close friends.
So far so good….. but, there’s always a but, isn’t there? J
Sometimes relations get strained. It’s not intentional. Yet, they get strained. Maybe because you lost touch in between, maybe you got busy with office, studies, college, family or just life in general. Nevertheless, they get strained. Sometimes your friends understand why it happened- and all’s well again. But, when they don’t – that’s when hell breaks loose! You know you weren’t wrong, the situation was such that you were helpless. (As they say in hindi, ’Insaan bura nahi hota, bas waqt bura hota hai’). And you also know that your friend wasn’t wrong. After all, he might want to be there for you, but it was you who was pushing him away. You didn’t do it to hurt him. But, lets face it -there’s no harm in asking for some space for yourself to sort your own life out. One thing leads to the other and before you know it, you both have already walked miles (sadly, in opposite directions). That does not mean you have lost your friendship. It just means that your friendship is so strong, and your willingness to understand each other so much that you would try to make ends meet no matter what. But again, we are humans – and as my friend says (it’s not good to take credit for someone else’s thoughts :P ).. so anyway, as he says, “human brain tricks us whenever it can”. So, ultimately it depends on the two humans and their willingness to sustain the relation which makes the bond stronger. Well, that applies to all relationships, not just friendship. J
So cheers to friendship! And a hope that we cherish every single person in our life who is our well-wisher…
