Managing stress with an 8-8 job

Calvin and Hobbes - Fuzz Therapy. By good old Bill Watterson

I have been hearing a lot of stories about couples getting stressed out from managing their home, work and travel. I do not wish to write a philosophical article. They are available dime a dozen everywhere you look. But with age, wisdom tends to grow too and then people like me tend to throw in their 2 cents. Since this is a “serious” article, I am going to try my best to not get animated with my words. No exclamation marks – got it? Ok Start.

Where do I start? Let’s start with some anecdotes from my own life. And I’ll throw in some from the people around me – both kinds - people taking stress and people managing stress well.

Anecdote:

Yesterday was a day when I could have broken down from the number of things that went wrong. Since I am writing this article, obviously I survived. [Do not put an exclamation mark].

What went wrong?

• It’s winter and there was no hot water from solar heating at 6am. Apparently, the people responsible for water management forgot to do their job the previous day.

• My helper (who makes rotis – that’s “Indian flatbread” for the Westerners) did not show up on time. Yes, sometimes the measures you had taken to help you with time and stress management become the reason for more stress.

• My office cab which usually comes around 8am, decided to show up half an hour before time. [Do NOT use exclamation]

• Umm.. I won’t talk about the morning health issues, let’s keep some things out of this, ok? [can I use an emoji?]

• My husband’s brother who usually wakes up after I leave, had an early morning meeting and couldn’t find his handkerchief or his socks. This after I put in so many efforts to keep the house organized to avoid last minute rushes. Hmpf. Somebody forgot to throw them in the laundry basket. I wonder who? [please, oh please, let me use an emoji here]

• Time for office - office issues excluded from this discussion. It will need a long... long... dedicated post.

• At 6pm, my cab driver informs me that he will be 10 minutes late. That should be ok. I reorder my household shores in my mind because 10 minutes are a lot when you manage things by the minute. I have a meeting with offshore team at 8.30pm. Should be okay, I’ll manage. At 6.40pm, I finally get a call that the cab has arrived. [You can use your own emoji here. I’ll spare mine.]

• I reach home at 8pm. No idea how to manage dinner and laundry. [start singing in my head]. Looks like I’ll have to skip the meeting [more singing in the head… for some reason, it’s the Nescafe song].

How to survive a day like above and how I survived mine [drumroll]:

• If there’s no hot water, then do a “kauva snan” (a crow bath) as my Dad puts it. A little water here and a little water there. Out of the bath in 2 minutes. And if you hear your hubby “explaining”, not shouting, to the watchman how people need hot water in the morning to get ready for office, you should smile and think – I got a good husband who knows how to keep his cool in demanding times.

• If the helper arrives 10minutes before you are about to start, ask her to dump all other tasks and make you just those 2 rotis as fast as humanly possible. She might get upset, mind you. So think of how you can make up for it later. Have a calm conversation with her the next day perhaps? This one’s a toughie, but you can do it. Pointer: such situations are bound to happen once in a while. Build a good relationship beforehand so that these things don’t have a drastic affect on such mornings and people don’t threaten to quit. Like: bake a cake for her son’s birthday!

• Health issues: Read my health blog here. Don’t you dare try to figure out what’s wrong with me.

• Brothers-in-law : Sigh! Failed the exclamation test here. Can’t do much about them! SC, are you reading this? :P

• Cabs and cab drivers:  These are external forces. You can complain to your office transport department or you can just take it in your stride. For people living close to office, you can drive to office yourself. For people living even closer to office, cycle to office. Reduce this dependency and reduce the stress. Bonus: Also reduces the pollution and saves the environment.

• Missing late night office meetings: I’ll give the same advice as what I gave for the helper situation. Build good bonds on the smoother days so that nobody questions you on the rough-sailing days. And, most importantly, don’t sulk inside. Instead, let the stakeholders know about your situation so that they understand what’s going on.

• At this point, maybe your spouse can have a hot dinner ready - like mine did ;) . Bless him! [This bullet point is excluded from the no exclamation-no smiley rule] [Also, bullet point added on demand from the husband!]

• At the end of the day, sit down, talk to your spouse about anything other than the bad day. Unwind with topics of your interest.

• Lastly, have a good hot bubble bath. If you don’t have a tub, like I don’t, just take a hot bath, because remember you haven’t taken one today!

Let’s manage time a little better. That was a long article for both you and me. I’ll share other people’s anecdotes and stress management tips in another article, another day.

Stay happy, stay healthy!